Being a vegetarian for 5 years or so and making the transition to vegan about 3 years ago, the most annoying question I get (in a strong field of annoying questions) is "How do you get your protein?".
The thing is, if I never claimed to be vegan or vegetarian, and I looked pale and malnourished and all you ever saw me eating was a bread sandwich covered in breadcrumbs and snorting unbleached white flour through a hollowed-out breadstick, NOBODY WOULD SAY ANYTHING. Nobody cares about the protein intake of their friends or family (blowjob-and-swallow-related reference unintended) and people generally use this faux concern as a mask for their irritating judgement. I try not to preach to people, but if they ask me why I have made the choices I did, I will give an honest answer and not just say what they want me to say which is "I'm getting in touch with my inner hippy - haha!" or "I only like meat in my bum hole". Fuck that. We're all adults (unless you're under 18 of course lol). If you want to make jokes or comments, I really don't mind, and I enjoy a good-natured ribbing, but for the love of fucking Christ, PLEASE be funny, or original. I have heard the following at least 50 times each and they are just not very funny except to those who chuckle at the hilarious arab terrorist & racist jalapeno puppets voiced by Jeff Dunham:
"Yeah I'm a vegetarian too, I only eat vegetarian animals!"
"I'm a member of PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals!"
"Bacon is a vegetable HAHA!"
…etc, etc. There will be more. There are more but I think the first few comments I get will be fodder for my fury. One of the reasons for this blog will be to post and respond to the buffoonery that I hear on a daily basis from type-2 diabetics doling out health advice.
Another reason, the main reason, is to post actual recipes of actual food that I actually eat! That shit sounds actual!!! Everything I plan to post has been or will be tested on actual meat-eaters (and sometimes on fellow vegetarians and vegans, but there aren't many of us...) There might even be research and data, but more likely just swearing.
This blog will likely be confined to the tiny box of vegan food, like a veal calf struggling to turn its head, but may also include all of the other shit that pisses me off on a daily basis. This will help me because I can take out my frustrations on my keyboard rather than my wife's left cheek, and will disprove the notion that all vegetarians are peace-loving pacifists. Most of all I hope that whether you agree with me or not, you can enjoy some new culinary experiences and eavesdrop on the rantings of a crazy person. More than likely, nobody will read this. Either way, fuck you all and enjoy!!
Love,
The Author/Chef
1) Awesome!
ReplyDelete2) OK, I'll bite, why did you go vegan?
3) Isn't there a fuckshit ton of protein in things like nuts, avocados, quinoa, and kale, and aren't these things vegan?
4) Yes, I regularly comment in bullet points.
Short answer, kind of always wanted to try it. Love animals, and gave up meat one New Years. Thought it would last a month, but I kept going. Allowed myself to read and learn a lot more about factory farming & all that and wanted no part of it. Thought vegetarian was the way to go. Learned that I leaned too much on cheese & butter & stuff. I ended up eating a bunch of crap. Also began to learn about the conditions for most dairy cows & egg laying hens and it turns out it's no way to live. Stopped that stuff for a while. Felt good.
ReplyDeleteI still occasionally have things with dairy or eggs (in a pinch traveling when there is no option other than starvation which leads to mass murder if you're me). I have leather shoes, belts, car seats. Try to avoid them when I can. In no way perfect but trying to do my part and at least help people to cut back on things that are bad for them/for the environment/for animals. I remain overweight because I eat a high volume of healthy food and love me some beer and inactivity. Hope to work on all that next.
Thanks for checking this out!
I can dig that, not that you needed/sought my approval or anything. I definitely hear you about factory farming situations. Unfortunately for me, I ADORE eating meat, and one of my few true talents in this life is the preparation of flesh for consumption, so I doubt I'll ever take the leap. But I try to be cognizant of where my meat comes from. Free range/grass fed, organic, whathaveyou, and when I hear some bullshit about a company's source, I'll write them off for good.
ReplyDeleteLook forward to the recipes full of kale and quinoa!